My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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