I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
