i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
