I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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