I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
