Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
