i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
