11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your parents love me but you hate me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
