**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
