dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
