What a fucking waste of an outfit
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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