that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My vagina just recognized that song.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
