im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
