if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
