Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
