Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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