I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
