winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
