i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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