GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
