I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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