Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
