I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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