Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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