Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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