I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize