Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
