tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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