oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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