Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
