did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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