She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
