Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Oh god it's open bar.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
