He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
