oh god the rape fog is back!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
