so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
