I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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