Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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