Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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