needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
