Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
