just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
