Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize