After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
