Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He shit in the fireplace
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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