Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
