My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
