You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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