yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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