next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
