Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
