she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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