If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
