Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
