Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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