Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
how does that bad decision feel?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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