i think i have herpe
just one?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
