Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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