I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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