not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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