So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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