did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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