Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
