so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize