I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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