Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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